Tiger on the Loose!

For two Scouting drop-outs, it is surprising just how proud we are of our little Tiger Cub.

I do not have fond memories of my time in Girl Scouts. I do remember trying my very first pigs-in-a-blanket for snack during Daisy Scouts (as a kindergartener). But beyond that, I don't think I progressed much past the Brownie phase. I have at least one trauma that clouds my memories: I was late for a meeting and subsequently forced to sing "Happy Birthday" by myself with everyone staring at me as "punishment." And why such dorky names? Brownie? Daisy? Really? It just wasn't my thing.

Dave was a Cub Scout (elementary school), but ended his relationship with the Boy Scouts of America before moving up to the Webelo level. Neither of us have been particularly pleased with the BSA stance on religious tolerance or homosexuality. Since Dave didn't love Scouting with a passion, he didn't feel compelled to continue with his offspring. I vowed while still pregnant that no son of mine would be in such an exclusionary organization.

Funny, but as with most things in parenthood, once the baby emerges from the womb all preconceived notions tend to fly out right after it. Jayden has taught us so very very much about how to parent our child differently. He has never been one to accept the status quo. And while searching for an activity that engages him at every possible level, I came to Scouting. And I recalled a passage from Shonda Schilling's excellent book, "The Best Kind of Different," where she emphasized that the best way for her son and her husband to bond and relate to one another was through Boy Scouts.

So far, Jayden loves Scouting and it makes me excited to see his enthusiasm. He looks adorable in his uniform. He already knows the motto and earned his first belt loop for an art project. He and his dad eagerly look forward to the meetings and the chance to do something special, just the two of them. They have already had conversations about areas and subject matters where patches and other rewards abound -- and how to achieve them. Working towards a common goal, learning new things, exploring new places, and meeting new friends in a safe, structured environment. What is not to love?

Truthfully, I am still not sure how I feel about it. I am torn between loving something that my son so clearly enjoys -- and that has definite merits -- and extreme discomfort that we are supporting an organization that perpetuates intolerance. What kind of message are we sending? That it is okay to belong to a group that discriminates, as long as you get something out of it?

One thing that makes the dilemma worthwhile: we have talked about ways that we can incorporate tolerance into the program. For instance, the first Den meeting included a prayer that invoked the name of a Lord we don't worship. Jayden of course noticed, and a quick conversation with the leader about inclusion made the needed change for future meetings. Jayden saw first-hand how we can influence change and help others be more tolerant.

Let's hope it sticks. I doubt this will be his last lesson on the subject. Nor will it be ours...